Toxic.

Some friends don’t act like friends. Perhaps it is their own discontent in life that they feel the need to put you down. Perhaps there is envy. Perhaps your friend critiques you all the time. When all three of the factors come into a friendship – that connection can become toxic. 

How do you identify an enemy disguised as a friend?

1. Spotting the enemy.  Frenemies can be hard to be aware of because they start out as a friend. However, their commentary, behaviour and tones when they speak to you could impact pessimistically on how you feel about the relationship.
2. How do YOU feel? Do you feel frustrated? Annoyed? Useless? - After meeting with this friend? Your feelings are a flag as to the condition of the relationship. Is this person good for you? Is this person can be trusted?
3. Are they builders or destroyers? Do they build up your self-esteem by adoring your new haircut or destroying your self-image by putting down your weight? Sometimes it is hard to distinguish positive, well-meant, criticism with downbeat, well-placed, digs. Remember, a builder is a friend and a destroyer is an enemy.
4. Are they serial-negativity-spreaders? Everybody can have a bad day – saying the wrong things however, enemies make put-downs a frequent part of your relationship.
5. Frenemy language. Enemies might be perfectly friendly to you – but then say or do things against you behind your back. They may speak disapprovingly about you. You might not even hear the “words” of a frenemy but as an alternative feel the eye rolls, head shakes or pursed lips. Is this a friend, you think?
6. Actions make re-actions. Perhaps the friend is perfectly lovely – but their actions are the opposite of the so called lovely actions.

Friendship is something that should be cherish about, not treat it lightly. Frenemies is toxics. They are dangerous because we never know when they will attack you. Verbally or physically. Either way, it would bring stress or even depression towards you. Your life is too important to be filled with frenemies or “toxic friends” Hope this post would open up your eyes and make you more aware.

                   

"False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade." - Christian Nestell Bovee.